‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (2022)

Disclaimer: This story contains details of domestic and sexual abuse that may be upsetting to some.

Surviving Abuse

“I was a 21 year old, living life! I had just graduated beauty school and moved back to my hometown. My grandfather was dying of cancer and I wanted to be close to him.

I had been hanging out with some friends and they introduced me to my now ex. He pursued me for a month and finally I agreed he could go out with all of us. That night I had just three sips of my drink and everything went black. I woke up the next morning in his bed. My heart sank, and I instantly knew something wasn’t right. I got dressed and took off very quickly.

I avoided him for weeks after until I found out I was pregnant. My mom encouraged me to stay with him and so did my pastor. With their pressure, I agreed to try to make it work. I moved in with him and he immediately started isolating me from everyone and restricting my money. He took away my car and forced me to quit my job.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (1)

Whenever I would get the chance to talk to my mom, which was few and far between, she would tell me ‘stick it out.’ Soon, the attacks began getting worse and worse. We lost our apartment and moved to a town 40 miles away.

I realized I needed to get out after one night when he came at me from behind and stabbed a butter knife so hard into my abdomen it punctured about an inch and left a scar. The next morning I woke up to a Uhaul and him telling me, ‘We’re going to my moms for a better life.’ His mom was 300 miles away and she was just as evil as he was.

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Once we arrived, I was very rarely allowed to leave a 10×10 room unless I was cooking or cleaning for them. I had no contact with my family. I was told to contact them once a week by email but he would rewrite my emails. His mother would allow him to abuse me right in front of her and even egg him on.

At one point I tried to leave and I walked 3 miles in July, 9 months pregnant with no money, just the clothes I could carry. I got to a gas station and a young girl helped me get to the train station. She did not know he was waiting for me inside to take me back. 2 weeks later, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (2)

Hope For The Future

No one in my family knew I had given birth. She was so precious and tiny and I swore to protect her with my whole being the second she was born. I knew I had to get out. I collected every dime, nickel, and quarter I could find and bought myself a train ticket and left.

He followed of course and I spent the next three months trying to get away from him. He attacked me and raped me when I was 4 weeks postpartum. This resulted in yet another pregnancy. I chose to have an abortion but managed to hide it and tell him I lost the baby. At this point, I had nowhere to go.

He told me I could stay at his friend Kadie’s house. I had no clue what I was getting myself into but my gut told me to agree. Kadie, still to this day, is my best friend! I immediately knew I could trust her and that she would help me.

She allowed me to stay there and she helped me find the strength to fight back. The night my ex went to jail was after hours of being attacked and finally Kadie was able to help me get away from him.

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‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (3)

He went to jail for 24 hours and was released on a release agreement. The agreement was he was to go straight to Washington. Instead, he hung around town unsupervised. I felt very unsafe. Living like this, looking over my shoulder, truly began wearing on me. Kadie suggested hiring a bodyguard, so I asked our silly friend Derek if he would do it. Little did I know, I would fall in love with him and he would save me!

He went to every court date with me and was with me whenever I needed him. It was so weird to have someone not want something from me for the first time in my life. I knew right away I wanted to marry him, but I was scared I was misreading the situation and mistaking feelings. We decided to go our separate ways after my daughter was getting old enough and started calling him dada. 2 weeks later though, he came back and told me he couldn’t live without us in his life.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (4)

We got married 2 weeks from that day. Like everything else in our story, it was not planned. My ex had filed for joint custody and I had to prove how I was providing for Gracie. My mom and friends were helping me provide for her at that point, so the lawyer suggested moving to my mom’s house in order to show a stable home to the court.

The only problem was that my mom lived 300 miles away. When Derek came home from work, I told him, ‘We are moving to my moms.’ He immediately said, ‘Let’s get married.’ He wasn’t joking around, as we got married 3 days later and had a very nice wedding.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (5)

This all happened so quick. I went from being a 22-year-old newly single mom leaving a very violent, evil situation to a newlywed in the matter of weeks. No one thought our marriage would last a week let alone 13 years. We have had our ups and downs, but in the end we always have each other.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (6)

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

This journey was one of the hardest things I have been through. but in the end it is what made me who I am today. It changed me in a way I never thought it could. It helped me see even in your darkest times, there is always a light. Derek, also known as Big Red, is a person I thought only existed in dreams. He is kind, loving, sweet, and giving. Not only to me and our family, but to every person he meets.

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He has helped me through my journey of healing. He has been patient when he shouldn’t have been patient. He has stepped up as a father and a husband when no one expected him to. Him and his whole family accepted both Gracie and I into their families with open arms and have never treated us differently.

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (7)
‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (8)

Today, Derek is a contractor and I work with autistic children. I am taking a break from teaching and working on writing my book. We live in a small community in North Eastern Oregon with our 3 children. Recently, we began making TikTok’s that raise awareness about domestic violence and helping others see they aren’t alone.

This topic is hidden or dismissed way too much. Most of the people in my current life did not even know our story or what I had been through because I had felt shunned if I spoke about it. That is a stigma that needs to be abolished.

We also used our platform to show others that you can grow and heal from whatever took place in your life. Our daughter Gracie is also a DV survivor but has recently been diagnosed with autism and Tourette’s and we document her journey also.

I want others to know we are here to help them! After all, it as a group of strangers who helped me and saved me at my lowest point.”

‘Even in your darkest times, there is always a light.’: Domestic abuse survivor marries bodyguard hired to protect her (9)

[If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visitthehotline.orgto live chat with someone 24/7. Help is out there and you are not alone.]

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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Elise Stevens of Union, Oregon. You can follow her journey on Instagram, TikTok, Kickstarter. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribeto our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Elise:

Domestic Violence Survivor Falls In Love With Bodyguard, Learns To Live And Love Again

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Do you know someone who could benefit from this story? SHARE this story on Facebook.


What is the definition of a domestic violence survivor? ›

"Survivor" is a term for the individual who is being targeted for abuse. Sometimes they may be referred to as "victims." Abuser. "Abuser" refers to the individual who is inflicting the abuse. Other terms include "batterer" or "perpetrator."

How does abuse affect the life of a survivor? ›

Adults who have buried their history of child abuse can continue to suffer in ways that can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance misuse, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, guilt, learning disabilities, physical illness, disturbing memories and dissociation.

What percentage of marriages end in domestic violence? ›

Domestic violence is very common in American families. In almost 20 percent of all marriages and intimate partnerships, couples slap, shove, hit, or otherwise assault each other.

What are the 3 phases in the domestic violence cycle? ›

It has three distinct phases which are generally present in violent relationships: Tension Building Phase. Violent Episode Phase. Remorseful/Honeymoon Phase.

What do you think are some of the challenges that survivors of domestic violence face? ›

These challenges may include the following:
  • Inability to adequately explain abuse due to the disability.
  • Intense feeling of fear, shame, or guilt.
  • Dependence on the caregiver/offender.
  • Beliefs that they will be blamed.
  • Beliefs that the abuser will retaliate or actual threats of further harm.

How does domestic violence affect the lives of its victims? ›

ongoing anxiety and depression. emotional distress. eating and sleeping disturbances. physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches.

How can you tell if someone was abused in the past? ›

11 Signs You May Have Experienced Emotional Abuse in the Past
  1. You Aren't Good at Making Decisions for Yourself. ...
  2. You Are a People Pleaser. ...
  3. You Minimise Toxic Moments. ...
  4. You Get Angry or Frustrated Easily. ...
  5. You Often Feel Defensive. ...
  6. You Tend to View Yourself Negatively. ...
  7. You Find it Hard to Cope When People Are Upset.
23 May 2019

How does domestic violence affect a person emotionally? ›

Abuse victims can also suffer both short- and long-term emotional and psychological effects, including feelings of confusion or hopelessness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

How does abuse affect future relationships? ›

Effects on personal relationships

People who have experienced abuse in childhood may develop attachment disorders. This can make it difficult for them to create positive social and romantic relationships in later life. Learn more about attachment disorders in adults.

Can you get disability for PTSD from domestic violence? ›

Some of these mental health conditions can be so severe that you find yourself unable to work and earn a living. If this is the case, a woman with a mental health trauma from domestic violence may qualify for Social Security Disability benefits.

Why do people return to their abusers? ›

Victims stay or return for many reasons, such as: The deck is stacked against a victim when confronted with leaving or not. Abusers work very hard to keep victims in the abusive relationship. There is a real fear of death or worse abuse if they leave.

Why do most marriages fail? ›

Overall, the results indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment (75.0%), infidelity (59.6%), and too much conflict and arguing (57.7%), followed by marrying too young (45.1%), financial problems (36.7%), substance abuse (34.6%), and domestic violence (23.5%).

What are the 5 cycles of emotional abuse? ›

The five cycles codified—enmeshment, extreme overprotection and overindulgence, complete neglect, rage, and rejection/abandon- ment—were first published in Annals, the journal of the American Psychotherapy Association, in the Fall of 2002.

What are the 4 stages in the cycle of violence? ›

The cycle of abuse is a four-stage cycle used to describe the way abuse sometimes occurs in relationships. The stages—tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm—repeat themselves over and over again if the abuse follows this pattern.

How do you break the cycle of violence? ›

To break the cycle of violence, children need services that focus on problem-solving and conflict management skills, healthy self-esteem and self-worthiness. Positive peer groups and social support are also needed.

Why do victims blame themselves? ›

Victims sometimes blame themselves for the same reason others blame them; they want to believe the world is fair. Blaming themselves may also help them feel safer in some ways.

What are the consequences of being a victim? ›

After the crime, victims may suffer a range of physical effects including insomnia, appetite disturbance, lethargy, headaches, muscle tension, nausea, and decreased libido. It is common for these reactions to persist for some time after the crime has occurred.

Why do victims stay in contact with abusers? ›

A victim's reasons for staying with their abusers are extremely complex and, in most cases, are based on the reality that their abuser will follow through with the threats they have used to keep them trapped: the abuser will hurt or kill them, they will hurt or kill the kids, they will win custody of the children, they ...

How does domestic violence affect women's mental health? ›

These include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. One study shows that the likelihood of abused women experiencing PTSD is seven times higher than for those who have not been abused. The risk of abused women developing depression and anxiety is also high.

What is the first step towards preventing domestic violence quizlet? ›

Terms in this set (10) What is the first step toward preventing domestic violence? Call the police.

What is the long term impact of interpersonal violence on the individual families and community? ›

The consequences of experiencing interpersonal violence are pervasive and enduring. Evidence confirms that exposure to violence increases the risks of injuries, infectious diseases, mental health problems, reproductive health problems, and noncommunicable diseases (NCDs).

Can you have PTSD from emotional abuse? ›

Emotional abuse can lead to C-PTSD, a type of PTSD that involves ongoing trauma. C-PTSD shows many of the same symptoms as PTSD, although its symptoms and causes can differ. Treatment should be tailored to the situation to address the ongoing trauma the person experienced from emotional abuse.

What mental illnesses are caused by abuse? ›

Experiencing abuse or other trauma puts people at risk of developing mental health conditions, such as:
  • Anxiety disorders.
  • Depression.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder.
  • Misusing alcohol or drugs.
  • Borderline personality disorder.
16 Feb 2021

How do you know if you have repressed trauma? ›

Strong Unexplained Reactions to Specific People

Have you ever met someone and immediately felt “off” about them? This feeling may be a sign of repressed childhood trauma. Your mind and body warn you that the person isn't safe, even if you don't know them.

What emotional abuse does to the brain? ›

Emotional abuse is linked to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe. Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic brain changes that may cause depression.

What does emotional abuse do to a woman? ›

Staying in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety. Read more about the effects on your health. You may also: Question your memory of events: “Did that really happen?” (See Gaslighting.)

What is Gaslighting emotional abuse? ›

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or as though they cannot trust themselves.

What should you not say to a trauma survivor? ›

Things Never to Say to Trauma Survivors
  • It's Time to Move On.
  • It could not have been that bad.
  • Stop Being Negative.
  • If You Continue Dwelling On It, Then You'll Never Move On.
  • Do You Think You'll Ever Stop Being Depressed?
  • You're a Survivor, So Quit Being a Victim.
  • It Could Always Be Worse.

What mental disorders are caused by childhood trauma? ›

Trauma and Stressor-related Disorders in Children
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). ...
  • Acute stress disorder (ASD). ...
  • Adjustment disorders. ...
  • Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). ...
  • Disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED). ...
  • Unclassified and unspecified trauma disorders.

What are the symptoms of narcissistic abuse? ›

12 Signs You've Experienced Narcissistic Abuse (Plus How to Get Help)
  • False perfection.
  • Doubt from others.
  • Smear campaigns.
  • Isolation.
  • Freezing.
  • Indecision.
  • Self-blame.
  • Physical symptoms.

How much money do you get for PTSD disability? ›

Depending on the severity, a veteran's diagnosis of PTSD is eligible for VA disability rating of 100% ($3,332.06/month), 70% ($1,529.95/month), 50% ($958.44/month), 30% ($467.39/month), 10% ($152.64/month), or 0% (no payment).
VA Disability Ratings for PTSD.
RatingMonthly amount
4 more rows
12 Oct 2021

How much is a disability check for PTSD? ›

People with PTSD victimized during childhood might receive SSI and the typical $794 monthly amount. PTSD recipients of SSDI might receive more or less than the average $1,258 monthly check if the trauma occurred later or earlier in their adult life.

Does anxiety and depression qualify for disability? ›

If symptoms of anxiety or depression prevent you from working a full-time job, you may be eligible for social security disability benefits.

Why do people stay in toxic relationships? ›

People tend to stay in toxic relationships because they don't know anything better or they fear being judged. Fear of being alone and not finding love again can also make you feel helpless. The worst is if you feel that you did this to yourself and start believing that you deserve it.

How many people return to their abusers? ›

How does a victim go from vowing to leave to defending the abuser, even in extreme cases? A team of researchers at The Ohio State University wanted to find out. Few cases of relationship violence ever reach the court system, but when they do, up to 80% of victims later recant their allegations.

How many tries does it take to leave an abuser? ›

Survivors may leave and return several times before permanently separating from their abusive partner. In fact, research shows that it can take approximately 7 attempts before a survivor permanently leaves an abusive partner.

What makes a man leave his wife? ›

Sometimes men run away when they fall in love, looking to rekindle the spark of singleness. Why men leave the women they love could be any number of reasons. Toxic relationships, being used, feeling emotionally spent, or meeting someone new could also contribute to what makes a man leave his wife.

What is the number 1 cause of divorce? ›

According to various studies, the three most common causes of divorce are conflict, arguing, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship, lack of commitment, infidelity, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

Why do marriages fail after 20 years? ›

Many reasons cause couples to part ways even after many years of marriage, like lack of communication, unresolved issues of the past, and lack of mutual growth. Having financial clarity, finding a support system and shunning negativity help you weather this storm.

Do Emotional abusers know they are doing it? ›

When emotionally abused women ask “Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive?” their preferred answers usually start with the words: “No, they don't.” If emotionally abusive men don't know they are abusive, that may well mean that they have something wrong with them – like Narcissism.

What is an example of emotional abuse? ›

Types of emotional abuse

humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child. blaming and scapegoating.

What are the 3 cycles of an abusive relationship? ›

There are three stages to the cycle of violence:

This is where the battered person may feel like they are walking on eggshells. Second is the actual explosion phase where the physical abuse occurs. It can last from a few minutes to several hours. Third is the honeymoon phase.

What are the 6 steps of the cycle of abuse? ›

Six distinct stages make up the cycle of violence: the set-up, the abuse, the abuser's feelings of “guilt” and his fear of reprisal, his rationalization, his shift to non-abusive and charming behavior, and his fantasies and plans for the next time he will abuse.

Is trauma bonding real? ›

A trauma bond is a connection between an abusive person and the individual they abuse. It typically occurs when the abused person begins to develop sympathy or affection for the abuser. This bond can develop over days, weeks, or months. Not everyone who experiences abuse develops a trauma bond.

How do victims react? ›

Denial, disbelief and anger: Victims may experience denial, an unconscious defense against painful or unbearable memories and feelings about the crime. They may experience disbelief, telling themselves that this could not have happened to them. They may feel intense anger and a desire to get even with the offender.

How do you break the cycle of narcissistic abuse? ›

Stop the Cycle of Abuse: Countering the Narcissistic Rant
  1. Be careful what you let in. ...
  2. Test what is said. ...
  3. Look at the big picture. ...
  4. View interactions as a chess game. ...
  5. Plan your words ahead of time. ...
  6. Stay positive. ...
  7. Take time before you respond. ...
  8. Find areas of agreement.
13 May 2015

Can you break a cycle of emotional abuse? ›

Understanding the impact of emotional abuse can be an eye-opening way to break the cycle. It's easy for survivors to be in denial of their ordeal, after all, so sometimes you may think that it wasn't that bad. But studies show that the impacts are just as significant as the effects of physical abuse.

Can cycle of violence be broken? ›

when the abuser admits sole responsibility for violent and abusive behavior and gets help. The cycle can also be broken when the victim safely and with support leaves the abusive relationship.

What do you call someone who commits domestic violence? ›

Perpetrator:a person carrying out domestic violence behaviors; see also “abuser” and “batterer”.

What do you mean by the domestic violence class 8? ›

Ans. Domestic violence refers to the injury or harm or threat of injury or harm caused by an adult male, usually the husband, against his wife. Injury may be caused by physically beating up the woman or by emotionally abusing her. Emotional abuse of the woman includes verbal, sexual and economic abuse.

Did you know facts about domestic violence? ›

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman is assaulted or beaten. Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

When did domestic violence become a social issue? ›

During most of the 1900's, domestic violence was acknowledged, but treated as a private family matter. Family violence became an issue with the influence of the Women's Liberation Movement in the 1960's and 1970's.

What is it called when a victim protects their abuser? ›

Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations including child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking.

What is considered abusive language? ›

Abusive language means the use of remarks intended to be demeaning, humiliating, mocking, insulting, or belittling that may or may not be based on the actual or perceived race, color, religion, sex, national origin, sexual orientation, or gender identity of an individual.

How would you describe abuse in court? ›

The domestic violence laws say “abuse” is: Physically hurting or trying to hurt someone intentionally or recklessly; Sexual assault; Making someone reasonably afraid that he or she or someone else is about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone); OR.

What is the meaning of equal relationships are violence free? ›

Ans: According to the domestic violence act of 2005 The phrase “equal relationships are violence-free” depicts that women and men have equal rights and privileges and they stand equal in every manner.

What do you mean by domestic violence class 7? ›

The correct option is D Behaviour with the purpose to gain power and control over spouse or partner. Domestic violence is any behaviour with the purpose to gain power and control over spouse or partner.

Can you list one process that was used to make people aware of the need for this law? ›

There are many ways in which we can make people aware of the laws. We can use media such as newspaper and TV reports to spread out the awareness about the laws that are implemented or a part of the constitution that people have no idea about.

Can you get disability for PTSD from domestic violence? ›

Some of these mental health conditions can be so severe that you find yourself unable to work and earn a living. If this is the case, a woman with a mental health trauma from domestic violence may qualify for Social Security Disability benefits.

What age is domestic violence common? ›

Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner. 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon. Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

What are the 4 stages in the cycle of violence? ›

The cycle of abuse is a four-stage cycle used to describe the way abuse sometimes occurs in relationships. The stages—tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm—repeat themselves over and over again if the abuse follows this pattern.

What is the most common type of injury in cases of domestic violence quizlet? ›

Minor injury is the most common outcomes of domestic violence.

Is domestic violence considered a social issue? ›

Domestic violence is a social problem which is being 'addressed' in a variety of ways. Through highlighting the different social groups effected as well as the impacts on the individual and society, we are able to see how the different definitions of domestic violence can be problematic.

When was domestic violence considered a crime in the US? ›

In 1994, Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act ("VAWA"). This Act, and the 1996 additions to the Act, recognize that domestic violence is a national crime and that federal laws can help an overburdened state and local criminal justice system.


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