Is My Ex Happy In His New Relationship (2022)

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

You’ve been through the hell that is a breakup and if that wasn’t enough, you’ve justfound out that your ex is dating someone new. You think to yourself, “is my ex happy in his new relationship?”

You can’t help but KNOW that this time, he’s changed and it’s for real. He seems so much happier in thisnew relationship with this new girl who’s everything you’re not. Heseems to havebecome everything that you everwishedhe couldhave been when you were together. He seemsmore mature, happier…WTF?!

He’s upgraded overnightwhile you haven’t shaved in three weeks, don’t want to leave the house, and only want to social media stalk the crapout of both of them. You think to yourself:

“Every guy I date leaves me and becomes better. I’m nothing but a relational doormat and breakup launching pad.”

“I’m so easy to abandon, dispose of, and forget.”

“Why couldn’t he have been this way with me?” “What’s wrong with me?”

“Is my ex happy in his new relationship? What does she have that I don’t?”

You start to think about all the nights you’ve spent obsessing, all in an effort to analyze and get over your relationship.

Apparently,while you were doing that, your ex not only moved on but was probably having sex, great sex, better-sex-than-he-had-with-you-or-he-would-still-be-with-you, kind of sex while you were at home trying to deal with your broken heart.

You immediately go into FBI mode. Within a matter of minutes, you’ve located photographic proofvia social mediathat not only has he moved on, but he looks ridiculously happy. He looks better. He looks way happier than he was with you and she looks like everything you aren’t.

  • You get angry that she can’t see the real him…
  • The one who cheated on you.
  • The one who liked every hot girl’s Facebook and Instagram photos.
  • The one who flirted with other girls.
  • The one who prioritized his ego over your emotional well-being.
  • The one who tried to pick up your friend when she was drunk and “needed to talk…”
  • The one who would not stop texting his ex and then, accused you of being insecure for having an issue with it.
  • The one who lied to you over and over and OVER.
  • The one who distorted your reality and made you feel crazy.

You feel pathetic, broken, rejected, abandoned… and it sucks.You’re also scared that maybe…. just maybe… he’s actually really changed this time. And maybe, she inspired him to change. You think of the guy you knew, the guy that was so sweet and so perfect at the beginning of the relationship and you start to think that THAT was the real him. You must have done something to “make him” do what he did and become so selfish.

This is the ultimate mind f*ck.

THE TRUTH:He hasn’t changed, she isn’t better than you and no, you didn’t do anything to “make” a grown man behave a certain way. I’m not going to stop there because I know that’s not enough.

I don’t care if: he’s gotten 500 new tattoos; if he’s gotten a makeover, seems to have changed in every substantial way, dyed his hair, become a yogi, or is volunteering on the weekends rescuing kittens and then giving them to kids with cancer. I don’t care if he’s changed his religion and is dating the preacher’s daughteror if he is hosting weekly dungeon orgies inhis basement.

He is STILLthe exact.same.guy. at the core.

Remember this, read it over and over and think about the logic of it as you read it because I promise you, if you get out of your own head for one minute and read this (and really think about it), you’ll see the how much sense it makes:

Thoughtless, emotionally unintelligent, empathetically bankrupt, selfish, and dishonest people do notjustmagically transforminto amazing people, who, justafter leaving you, suddenly gain integrity and emotional intelligence.

Could you magically change overnight into a totally different person? Could you change into a terrible person? Could you morphinto the complete opposite of what and who you are? Could you rewire your moral code and magically transforminto someone who ignores responsibility? Could you become someone who has zeroempathy for yourself or others? Could you ever become someone who possesses zero emotion or feelings and more importantly, could you continue on to be this person with these traits and habits (that you clearly don’t possess and aren’t you),forever?

Don’t give me wrong, if it was a few years back Leo DiCapriowas interested in me and he was a total jerk and I could tell that he would only be with me if I was more like him, I probably would just ignore how he was and try to morph into whatever he wanted me to be. Why? Because he’s Leo, I need to get over my ex, I want to stop thinking about my ex, and I want to create jealousy and drama. But at the end of the day, that’s all that it would be – metrying.

Me trying to be something I’m not is not real. And NOTHING real or meaningful(like a solid relationship), can grow from bs. I am who I am; I can’t help but be myself and ultimately, reveal my truth – good and bad. It wouldn’t last long-term because I would eventually, reveal my truth and who I really, truly am.

People cannothelp but communicate who they are.

Your ex “changing,” is nothing more than him trying to avoid and suppresswho he really is.

Do you think that he’s actually changed? That she’s better than you? That he’s happier? He’s not. He’s not a real-life transformer,nor ishis new girlfriend and neither areyou.

The one thing you’ll never be able to do ismakesomeone completely change out of being who they are. And with his new girlfriend, don’t give in to the compare game. Feel sorryfor her that she will get to know soon enough who she’s really with. Think ofall the crap she will inevitably be exposed to because she eventually WILL.

It’s hard now and I know how painful it is, but trust me when I say it will be the same pattern. He was this way before you, with you, and he will continue on to be the same way after you – no matter who or what he does.

Remember when you first started dating your ex and everything was perfect? Remember how he was everything you thought you wanted until he wasn’t? The exact same bullsh*t honeymoon phase willhappen with hisnew flame because he is the exact same guy.

People don’t just magically become unavailable jerksbecause the person that they’resupposedly committed to (& have noproblem continuing to sleep with and use), isn’t “good enough.”

People communicate who they are from the get-go. We just makethe decision to see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.

We fall for the potential of a rose garden instead of accepting (and acting on) the weeds right in front of us.Over time, everyone eventually reveals who they truly are and we, all too often, refer to this as a shocking“change.” This is because we don’t like and love ourselves.

The best thing to do is to remind yourself that the only way a relationship with him could ever work out is if you were okay with an unhealthy and non-mutual relationship.

You need to implement some boundaries. Start making a habit of rejecting poor and hurtful behavior from others, instead of habitually tolerating it because you don’t think you deserve better.

Remind yourself that no matter how convincing the situation is and how happy he looks in the stupid photos that heposts, he.has.not.changed. Not everything that glitters is gold. And he’salready provento be fools gold.

You are worth so much more than a one-sided relationship.

She isn’t better than you, YOU are better than THIS.

Keep the focuson yourself and let this be the northern star to your evolution, not the anchor of your demise.

x Natasha

Are you done with toxic relationships and ready to attract (and be attracted to) healthy relationships? Do you want to connect with others on a deeper level than the comments below? Click here to become an Emotional Mastery Member and learn more. If you’re looking for more personalized, one-on-one help, you can work directly with Natasha Adamo here.

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