Narcissist Partners and their Methods of Sleep Deprivation - The body is your only home where you can live peacefully. Clean your home for optimal health! (2022)

Narcissists are everywhere. They can be at our workplace as our bosses or colleagues, in our friends’ circle, in our family, and sometimes in our homes as our spouses/partners, siblings, or parents. We can come in contact with them or become their prey anywhere, even before we realize it.

Narcissists are people suffering from NPD (narcissist personality disorder). They are self-centred with a sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy for other people. Their behavior is highly manipulative, and they have a constant need to control the people around them.

More often than not, we are unable to identify narcissists because they appear as ordinary people. Many have charming personalities, which they use as bait to hook people. During the grooming stage, a narcissist would make a potential victim feel warm and loved. It is a façade they wear until the receiver feels comfortable in their company. Once respect and trust have been earned, their narcissistic traits show up, leaving a victim emotionally vulnerable, confused and guilty.

(Video) 5 WAYS A NARCISSIST TREATS YOU WHEN YOU'RE SICK: How Narcissists Handle Your Sickness

In addition, there are many different manipulative tactics narcissists deploy to abuse their spouse; one of them is sleep deprivation. Of course, when you are often sleep-deprived, you feel agitated and confused the next day, making it easier for the narcissist to control you. For instance, narcissists wake their partners at midnight from a deep sleep. Then, they put forth silly demands in a way that makes it appear as if what they want is an essential thing in the world at that moment and can’t be delayed till morning.

E.g. “We need to talk about where our relationship is heading right NOW!” Or “I am hungry get me something to eat” or even as silly as “I want to go for a walk with you right now”, and the list is endless. But they do it in such a planned manner that the person being deprived of sleep does not even feel that they are being abused. It is pretty similar to the torture inflicted on the prisoners during an interrogation. They are kept awake so that they get physically and emotionally weak and confess.

Moreover, narcissists are clever. They know precisely how often to play the sleep deprivation game so that their partners don’t realize it’s a pattern and stop reacting to it. So they don’t use it more often and maintain a winning edge. They would behave pleasantly for many days and suddenly wake their partner up one midnight and start one of their episodes. This tactic keeps the abused on their toes, vulnerable and fearful at all times.

(Video) The psychology of narcissism - W. Keith Campbell

The simple answer is to exercise control over them. By doing so, narcissists feel validated. They lack empathy for others and only care about themselves and what is important to them. Their grandiose self-perception makes them feel entitled to get whatever they want and whenever they desire. If requested to be considerate, narcissists would guilt-trip their partner, complaining that their feelings and worries are more important than sleep.

However, a narcissist’s victimized partner would not take their words seriously under normal circumstances. When the abuse crosses all the boundaries, the victim realizes that something is not correct. Still, they yearn for a smooth relationship, but narcissists project all the prevailing problems on their partners. Thus, the manipulation becomes a vicious cycle, and everything eventually ends up against their partner. Consequently, the only way out for the victim is to cut off all the ties once and for all.

Further, the most worrisome aspect in such a situation is that the abused does not even know of the problem for a long time because of the covert nature of narcissistic abuse. Unlike physical wounds, it leaves invisible emotional scars. Therefore, it is hard to fathom the amount of damage inflicted, making it impossible for a victim to blame a narcissist and other people around. Even if they muster the strength to speak up, the narcissist partner denies wrongdoing, citing that the victim is delusional or overthinking.

(Video) Narcissist and SEX. How the Narcissist views intimacy with their partner.

Hence, narcissists are demanding people. They assert authority rather than making a request, expecting their partners to obey and fulfil what has been ordered. However, some narcissists feel pitty for themselves when blamed for being manipulative. Therefore, they subtly dramatize a situation and play the victim.

“The sadistic narcissist perceives himself as Godlike, ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and non-sexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict.”
Sam Vaknin

Getting a substantial amount of sleep is very important for one’s overall health. Sleep-deprived people face all kinds of health issues, both mental and physical. Going without sleep for long can have lifelong effects on people;

(Video) 10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist | (Keeping the Peace with a Narcissist)

  • They suffer from sleeping disorders and chronic insomnia to the point that they need medication to sleep. Many people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist have accepted that they had difficulty sleeping even after leaving the abusive relationship. Although many say that their narcissist partners’ damage done to them has had a long-term effect on their sleeping habits, they still can’t sleep soundly at night.
  • A lot of those who are or were in a relationship with a narcissist and were a victim of sleep deprivation now suffer from anxiety and depression, which they did not have before.
  • Another way that people suffer because of ex narcissist partners is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This is a disorder that kicks in after someone has gone through a tremendous amount of stress and cannot cope with the effect it has had on them.

Other things that people with narcissist partners who kept them sleep-deprived suffer are;

  • Fatigue
  • Irritability
  • Difficulty in concentrating
  • Withdrawn from their surroundings
  • Lack of confidence
  • Feelings of guilt

These are all the traits that narcissist partners want their partners to have because they keep them in the narcissist’s control.

Because of their larger-than-life personalities, it is hard to identify narcissists, which is why many people fall in love with them. But, unfortunately, by the time they realize what they have gotten themselves into, they are pretty deep into the relationship, which makes it hard for them to leave. If, however, a person does muster up the courage to go, it takes quite a lot of time and effort to heal oneself from the abuse inflicted on them by their partners.

(Video) 5 Ways To Heal From Narcissistic Relationships

  • The first step towards healing from sleep deprivation is to get sleep and lots of it. Doing any and everything that helps a person calm down and relax. While Going for therapy is the most important, listening to relaxing music, lighting up scented candles in the room and having long warm baths are other ways to calm the mind and body, which helps in sleeping better.

  • Because narcissists keep their partners on edge and worked up most of the time, it is vital to take it easy and let things be for a while after coming out of an abusive relationship. Taking one day at a time, trying not to overthink about the past or the future and living in the moment are the best ways to heal.

  • Having a well balanced nutritious diet is also key to sleeping well. Make sure that lots of leafy greens and proteins are added to the meals. Eating lots of seasonal fruits also keeps one in good health.

  • Last but definitely not least is physical activity. Being physically fit is key to maintaining good health. Long, soothing, calming and quiet walks can be as relieving as sweating it out in the gym. But, of course, what a person chooses to do depends entirely on them.

Most of us might not have realized in time that we are in a relationship with a narcissist. It takes a lot of time and effort to quit an abusive relationship. Still, we can certainly help others become aware. The experience of being with a narcissist for so long can help warn others who may get honey-trapped in a narcissistic relationship.

FAQs

How do narcissists use sleep deprivation? ›

4. Sleep deprivation. Narcissists and psychopaths deprive you of sleep to keep you exhausted and to keep both your mind and body in a state of chaos so you cannot see clearly or act in ways that benefit your well-being.

How does a narcissist treat his woman? ›

Narcissists abhor and dread getting emotionally intimate. The cerebral ones regard sex as a maintenance chore, something they have to do in order to keep their Source of Secondary Supply. The somatic narcissist treats women as objects and sex as a means to obtaining Narcissistic Supply.

How do narcissist treat their wives? ›

Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner.

How do narcissists live peacefully? ›

9 Tips for Dealing with Someone's Narcissistic Personality Traits
  1. Relationships.
  2. Accept them.
  3. Self-esteem.
  4. Speak up.
  5. Set boundaries.
  6. Keep calm.
  7. Find support.
  8. Demand action.

Is it abuse to deprive someone of sleep? ›

Sleep deprivation is a sinister type of abuse, one that can cause serious short- and long-term effects on a survivor's health.

What is baiting in narcissism? ›

Baiting is often used when one person wants to start an argument or some kind of conflict with another person. The narcissist “baits” their victim by purposely doing or saying things to annoy or taunt them. They may also do it in order to get their victim to do what they want.

Who does a narcissist marry? ›

A narcissist marries someone who would be a good source of long term narcissistic supply for them. They find a potential partner in someone who is weaker, less intelligent or underconfident.

How do you tell if a narcissist is using you? ›

30 Signs that a narcissist is finished with you
  1. The narcissist no longer hides their true colors. ...
  2. You feel the change. ...
  3. The narcissist will no longer give you love bombs. ...
  4. They are constantly irritated with you. ...
  5. The narcissist ignores everything you say. ...
  6. They criticize you. ...
  7. They are always distant. ...
  8. A narcissist will gaslight you.
28 Mar 2022

How do I live with peacefully with a narcissistic husband? ›

Top 8 tips for surviving and dealing with a narcissistic husband
  1. Be safe! ...
  2. Take time to focus on meeting your own emotional needs. ...
  3. Remind yourself frequently that you are still uniquely smart and lovable. ...
  4. Make good use of your resources. ...
  5. Accept that you cannot change your narcissistic husband. ...
  6. Don't take it personally.
3 Mar 2015

How does a narcissist view his wife? ›

The narcissist chooses spouses that will help them meet their end goal. A narcissist views marriage as something that will benefit them. They will not haphazardly enter into a marriage. Although a marriage might come quickly after dating, the narcissist has thought out what benefit their spouse will provide for them.

How do narcissists treat their family? ›

In many families, a narcissistic sibling or child slowly takes over by demanding the most attention and loyalty, insulting everyone (even parents), violating the family's rules, and manipulating its decision-making.

What does living with a narcissist do to you? ›

Living or working with a narcissistic person can be incredibly challenging, often leading to feelings of inadequacy, self doubt, and anxiety. In more extreme cases, exposure to a narcissist can lead to clinical depression from the emotional abuse and torment a person has had to endure.

What are the 5 signs of emotional abuse? ›

5 Signs of Emotional Abuse
  • They are Hyper-Critical or Judgmental Towards You. ...
  • They Ignore Boundaries or Invade Your Privacy. ...
  • They are Possessive and/or Controlling. ...
  • They are Manipulative. ...
  • They Often Dismiss You and Your Feelings.
23 May 2017

What do you do when your partner doesn't let you sleep? ›

If your partner can't fall asleep, urge them to leave the bed. “Encourage them to get up and go to another room until they feel sleepy enough to fall asleep quickly before returning to bed. If sleep does not come, they should get up again,” Clyman stresses.

How do you sleep after emotional abuse? ›

5 sleep tips for adults who were emotionally neglected or abused
  1. Find a sleep buddy. Sleep with someone (or some thing) you feel safe with. ...
  2. Sleep somewhere you feel safe. For thousands of years, humans have sought somewhere safe and warm to sleep. ...
  3. Sleep under weighted blankets. ...
  4. Get therapy. ...
  5. Sleep Hygiene.

What is an Echoist? ›

Again, echoism is the opposite of narcissism. Echoists are often people who feel the need to take care of others at their own expense. They shy away from any form of praise or recognition, instead wishing to remain anonymous and in the shadows.

What is gray rocking? ›

Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation.

What is narcissistic Breadcrumbing? ›

The insecure and narcissists have historically used it to trap their victims. Recognize the signs and stay away from these cruel "Don Juanes" as much as possible. Breadcrumbing refers to an attitude in which the person gives small signs of wanting something with you, but in reality, has no intention of formalizing.

What are the red flags of a narcissist? ›

Self-importance

Having manipulative tendencies. Engaging in a whirlwind romance. Lacking compassion or a severe lack of empathy for others. Love bombing.

Does narcissism worsen with age? ›

Unlike fine wine or cheese, narcissists don't get better with age. They don't mellow, become wise, or develop late-onset self-awareness. Their personalities intensify, and without their ability to control others, they become bitter, defensive, and bossy.

How long do narcissistic relationships last? ›

According to Dr. Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle. Too often, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again, training their target to expect them to come back.

What humiliates a narcissist? ›

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.

What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist? ›

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.

What should you not say to a narcissist? ›

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
15 Dec 2017

How can you tell if a narcissist is lying? ›

8 Ways To SPOT a LYING Narcissist - YouTube

What kind of games do narcissists play? ›

Here are some common manipulation games someone with narcissistic personality might engage in: gaslighting. love bombing. ghosting.

How do narcissists live happily? ›

8 Essential Strategies To Survive A Narcissist
  1. Understand The Narcissist.
  2. Strategy 1: Learn To Recognize Manipulation.
  3. Strategy 2: Cultivate Healthy Relationships.
  4. Strategy 3: Manage Expectations.
  5. Strategy 4: Understand Their Limitations.
  6. Strategy 5: Set Clear Boundaries.
  7. Strategy 6: Choose Your Battles.
3 Sept 2021

Do narcissists love their children? ›

"Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy," she told Business Insider. "They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone." This doesn't change when they have children.

What is a malignant narcissist? ›

In the popular conception, malignant narcissism is a form of narcissistic personality disorder that is highly abusive. People with this personality supposedly get a sense of satisfaction from hurting others and may manipulate people or lie to gain money, acclaim, and other things they desire.

Do marriages last with a narcissist? ›

Many people with narcissistic personality disorder appear to be in a successful and happy marriage. Their social media posts show them laughing together over a special dinner, walking hand-in-hand along the beach, and even renewing their marriage vows in front of friends and family.

Do narcissists get married multiple times? ›

Relationships with narcissists are not easy. Their exaggerated sense of self-importance combined with a lack of empathy frequently spells disaster for their relationships. They desperately need external validation, however, and that is why they often marry multiple times.

How do narcissists treat their mothers? ›

Their interactions may be aggressive or abusive in nature. If the mother is narcissistic too, she may give as good as she gets. Additionally, narcissistic children of narcissistic mothers sometimes develop a particularly toxic bond with their mother. They see their mother and themselves as some kind of super-family.

Do narcissists love their family? ›

Indeed, narcissists love the idea of family. They love knowing that they have a reliable support system. They also love knowing that they have people who will enable and even embrace their selfish behavior.

Do narcissists have a favorite child? ›

One child is usually the favoured child, while another is the scapegoat. Narcissists often emotionally reject a child that reminds them of their own insecurities and flaws. As an adult, strong boundaries, detached contact, or no contact at all are the best ways to deal with the relationship.

How do you overpower a narcissist? ›

How to Beat a Narcissist
  1. 1 Go limited or no-contact if you can.
  2. 2 Stay calm when they're trying to upset you.
  3. 3 Use “we” language to get them on your side.
  4. 4 Give praise and compliments to neutralize them.
  5. 5 Say something nice before you give criticism.
  6. 6 Let them feel accomplished to minimize drama.

What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? ›

If you are healed as an empath, and you've left a narcissist, be prepared for anything and everything they might do to make you look crazy, foolish, or unstable. They are the unstable ones and will project that onto you through triangulation and enlisting other people to make you come back to them.

What phrases to use with a narcissist? ›

Other Phrases to Say to a Narcissist Can Be:
  • “You have a right to hold your opinion and so do I but I don't agree with you.”
  • “Let's agree to disagree.”
  • “Let's work on this together.”
  • “Give me your advice. ...
  • “I hear what you are talking about.”
  • “I am sorry you feel this way.”
  • “I want to tell you how I feel about this.”
13 Jun 2022

Can you live happily with a narcissist? ›

Living with a narcissist may feel difficult, but it's possible to preserve your well-being with strong boundaries, a solid support network, and a therapist who's informed on narcissism. You may also find it useful to attend a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family support group in your area.

Can living with a narcissist make you sick? ›

Life with a narcissist can be extremely stressful, leading to depression or anxiety. It can also make you physically sick. You may feel it in the pit of your stomach. This isn't surprising, as stress and dismay are often coupled with a gut disturbance.

What are the long term effects of living with a narcissist? ›

Some examples of long-term effects include mood and anxiety disorders, physical ailments such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches, the inability to get a good night's sleep or having nightmares, and a lowered sense of self-worth.

What is the narcissist afraid of? ›

Narcissists are terrified of being alone, and their greatest fear is abandonment. Setting clear boundaries or not reacting to their chaotic manipulation will cause them to become afraid of losing you even though they may never admit it.

What triggers a narcissist? ›

Although the cause of narcissistic personality disorder isn't known, some researchers think that in biologically vulnerable children, parenting styles that are overprotective or neglectful may have an impact. Genetics and neurobiology also may play a role in development of narcissistic personality disorder.

Why do narcissists keep you awake? ›

Narcissists can keep a neurotic awake, because the fear, hurt and/or anger (and guilt and anxiety because of it) a neurotic feels at being cared so little about can play over and over in their mind, making it difficult to fall asleep.

What are narcissists like in bed? ›

People with traits of sexual narcissism typically have an inflated idea of their sexual skills and bedroom performance and focus primarily on what they want. They also tend to lack interest in cultivating emotional intimacy and show little interest in what their partners might want.

Do narcissists have weird eating habits? ›

Narcissist weird eating habits

Covert narcissists often have strange eating habits that may have you scratching your head in confusion. Maybe they are an extremely picky eater and use this to control which restaurants you eat at. They may use their preferences to try and police what you eat and when.

Do narcissists make you tired? ›

The Link Between Adrenal Fatigue and Narcissism

A narcissistic relationship can cause stress in every part of your life. This is why there's such a strong connection between adrenal fatigue and narcissism. Adrenal fatigue occurs when you experience chronic stress over a long period of time.

How can you tell if a narcissist is lying? ›

8 Ways To SPOT a LYING Narcissist - YouTube

What is an Echoist? ›

Again, echoism is the opposite of narcissism. Echoists are often people who feel the need to take care of others at their own expense. They shy away from any form of praise or recognition, instead wishing to remain anonymous and in the shadows.

How do you tell if a narcissist is using you? ›

30 Signs that a narcissist is finished with you
  1. The narcissist no longer hides their true colors. ...
  2. You feel the change. ...
  3. The narcissist will no longer give you love bombs. ...
  4. They are constantly irritated with you. ...
  5. The narcissist ignores everything you say. ...
  6. They criticize you. ...
  7. They are always distant. ...
  8. A narcissist will gaslight you.
28 Mar 2022

What turns a narcissist off? ›

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to not engage with them at all and to go no contact. People that are narcissistic want things from you – they want your attention and your emotional reaction.

Who does a narcissist marry? ›

A narcissist marries someone who would be a good source of long term narcissistic supply for them. They find a potential partner in someone who is weaker, less intelligent or underconfident.

Do narcissists get bored with long term partners? ›

Long-term relationships are boring to narcissists. They are drawn by the chase and may idealize the partners they can't have. They may appear to be charming, generous, and caring at first. But when they have you, they begin to get bored and to look for your faults.

What are narcissists like with money? ›

They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.

What are the red flags of a narcissist? ›

Self-importance

Having manipulative tendencies. Engaging in a whirlwind romance. Lacking compassion or a severe lack of empathy for others. Love bombing.

What are the long term effects of being with a narcissist? ›

Some examples of long-term effects include mood and anxiety disorders, physical ailments such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches, the inability to get a good night's sleep or having nightmares, and a lowered sense of self-worth. Is it possible to fully recover from narcissistic abuse?

Do narcissists drain you? ›

A narcissist often presents as super confident, but what lies behind the mask is a fragile self-esteem. Narcissists have to be right and cannot handle criticism. And lastly, they don't care about you (though they claim to) and they will drain the life out of you.

What does narcissistic abuse do to you? ›

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can include depression, anxiety, hypervigilance, a pervasive sense of toxic shame, emotional flashbacks that regress the victim back to the abusive incidents, and overwhelming feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.

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